The Red Pillow

I grew up in a small town called Borongan in the Eastern part of the Philippines. Borongan was a small fishing village at the time, and fishing was a source of living for most people. Everyone else, worked for the Government and my father was one of them. As the main breadwinner, he worked hard to support us. He bought essential items and he bought us books and taught us to read. I can’t remember whether he bought my red pillow. But it doesn’t matter. My red pillow was part of my childhood and I loved it dearly.

I see it in a bedroom which I shared with my sister. On sleepovers, I insisted on bringing my own pillow, otherwise, I would have difficulty sleeping anywhere. I loved my pillow on its own, without a pillow case. I loved its fresh smell and the warm feel of it on my cheeks on cold nights, and its coolness in the summer. When I was sad, I cried into my pillow and I thought, it cheered me up and provided company. When I went to Uni, I brought my pillow with me and still, it was my comfort in good and bad times.

Now, I’m a mother of two. My oldest son is nearly ten years old, while my youngest is nearly two. The age gap is challenging as both have different needs and interests. My husband works away from home most of the time, and therefore I juggle my time as a lone parent. Do I find comfort in my pillows? They are as comfortable as my old pillow, but I guess I’m a grown up woman now and I find comfort in many things like my family and friends, books and writing to name a few. 

Interestingly, my son has a favourite pillow. He insists on having it every night and does not want me to put it in the wash. When we moved house, it was in his top priority list. As they say, history repeats itself. Perhaps, this is to remind myself to chill, unwind and remember the simple pleasures of my happy and loving childhood. But I wonder how my son’s pillow provides comfort to him.

Today, as I drove him to school, I told him we have a homework in my writing class. Think of an object in my childhood bedroom and I asked him to guess. He said, ‘your favourite red pillow’. I smiled and saw myself in my son.  

Cynthia (Gorleston)